[identity profile] iamshunpike.livejournal.com posting in [community profile] terrapinshell
Title: Bowls of Pasta (1/?)
Fandom: Narnia RPF
Characters/Pairings: James McAvoy/Georgie Henley, hints of unrequited Ben/Georgie if you look? (This was meant to be a J/G fic, but B/G poked its way in....)
Rating: PG and it's utter crack, too.
Warnings: None.
Summary: Georgie and James exchanging emails. Their cute comments to each other and their opinions on each other's lives. He would give her advice to help sort out problems. She would tell him to lighten up about life and stop being such a grouchy old Scottish spaz.
A/N: This is a cracky, loose-plot glimpse into what is, for me, canon.
It was inspired by [livejournal.com profile] likecharity's little James/Georgie themed post that she made today. It began as a comment drabble, but lengthened into something worthy of its own post.
Ben managed to poke his way into this story, and because I'm a huge Ben/Georgie shipper, that shows here a little too (unrequitedly).
ETA: I wrote another chapter! :-B
ONE | TWO


From: discofaun06@gmail.com
To: owlfacemattressnumberhead@yahoo.co.uk
Subject: Re: You are far too serious James do you know that??? i'll send my personal creepy santa to fix you hehe...
Date: 20 Jan 2011 | 6:45 PM

I am Scottish Georgie and you've hit it right on the head. You see, we Scots are pre-ingrained [sp?] to act far older than we are. Have you ever heard of a jolly Scottish comedian? No because we are all morticians. ORRR very very serious actors/actresses.

We only take parts in films written by [or based on books written by—] people who were artistically depressed and/or thought too hard about life in general [C. S. Lewis winkwinknudgenudge]

We only chew popcorn pensively while watching Wim Wenders films

We only embalm corpses of people who made sensible decisions in life [the Scottish morticians I mentioned before]

We only carry black cell phones and decorate our homes with no trendy or fashionable furniture

We only disapprove of tattoos SERIOUSLY GEORGIE, IT IS A LIFE CHOICE. BEN TOLD ME YOU WANTED ONE. YOU CAN GET LOOKED DOWN ON FOR THE LOCATION OF THE TATTOO, SOME PEOPLE SAY ...well I don't want to say what they say but I'd rather you hear it from me, lord preserve me, ah, —if you got it on your lower back theyd call it a tramp stamp okay. I'M NOT CALLING IT THAT I'M JUST WARNING YOU in case you don't like that phrase
This started as a joke hon, but I'm getting serious now, hang on, but brace yourself for my Scottishness, seriously though, please listen.

Seriously, Georgie, please don't get a tattoo. You have your whole life ahead to make that decision. Skipping out of school to have it done by Skandar's cousin who probably isn't even certified, and how do you get certified to do tattoos anyway? That said [god i sound old. or Auld] you can get rejected from acting roles because of a tattoo. Not every character is going to have them, and not every casting agent is going to like the look. It can seriously damage your career, Georgie.

[why do i know that it is only the end of that bit that could ever affect your judgement on this
i sound feckin old. AULD i tell you.]

By the way, how is your cat doing? marmalade? you still have her right?

All my love,
James



———


From: owlfacemattressnumberhead@yahoo.co.uk
To: imbringingcaspianback@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: BENNNNNNN
Date: 21 Jan 2011 | 3:20 AM

BEN I JUST GOT A LETTER FROM JAMES
SINCE I WAS TROLLING FB AT NIGHT LIKE I DO
AND RESPONDING TO EMAILS AT NIGHT LIKE I DO since when the hell else do i have time to respond to emails, scuzzy teachers with their books giving me homework, dont they know NARNIA IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN SCHOOL.

AND HE WROTE THAT YOU TOLD HIM ABOUT MY TATTOO THING. WHICH WAS MAINLY A JOKE. URHGURGHURHGURGHURGH

okay, i'm not actually upset at you, so i'll just end the email here.

Love, Georgie.

p.s. skandar called and said he cant find his Sarah Waters book DID YOU TAKE IT BEN?? you know those books are more about the plot, if you wanted girls kissing you just could've gone to the internet
oh never mind i just got a text from him he has it
bye ♥


———


From: imbringingcaspianback@hotmail.co.uk
To: owlfacemattressnumberhead@yahoo.co.uk
Subject: Re: BENNNNNNN
Date: 21 Jan 2011 | 4:12 PM

Georgie, you really need sleep. And I only joked about the tattoo thing to James by the way, since it started as a joke. I suppose he took it seriously, then? Aw shit, you must feel ratted out or something. I SWEAR. I SWEAR I WAS NOT TRYING TO "TELL ON YOU".

I left m my jacket over at your place, is it all right if I come to pick it up tonight?

-Ben :-p

P.S. How do i get rid of this virus-safe thing at the end of my emails?? no one knows how. Well Will (moseley) gave this sort of long detailed explanation to me on the phone of how to get rid of the little message, but i wasn't really listening and it went in one ear and out the other. HOW DOES HE EXPECT SOMEONE TO REMEMBER FIVE MINUTES OF DETAILED EXPLANATION BY HEART?? I was on the way to an audition so i couldn't write it down. you all say i'm disorganized well fuck the haters

well you can hate me if you want, georgie, and i wouldn't grudge you it, but please don't hate me
see i'll even add a cute heart like you did: <3 (since i can't do it right)
AND a daisy: xox---p---
see the petals and the stem?? All for you.

Disorganized my arse.
Ben


No virus found in this incoming message.
Checked by AVG - www.avg.com
Version: 8.0.238 / Virus Database: 270.11.53/2054 - Release Date: 04/11/09 10:51:00


———

From: imbringingcaspianback@hotmail.co.uk
To: spidermonkeydarwin_king@aol.com
Subject: HAHAHAHA
Date: 21 Jan 2011 | 4:32 PM

YOU LIKE SARAH WATERS NOVELS

YOU LIKE SARAH WATERS NOVELS

YOU FUCKING LIKE SARAH WATERS NOVELS HAHAHAHAHAAAAA.


No virus found in this incoming message.
Checked by AVG - www.avg.com
Version: 8.0.238 / Virus Database: 270.11.53/2054 - Release Date: 04/11/09 10:51:00



———


From: owlfacemattressnumberhead@yahoo.co.uk
To: discofaun06@gmail.com
Subject: Don't sweat it James
Date: 22 Jan 2011 | 12:30 PM

Hey James, it's Georgie :)

Don't worry, I won't get a tattoo. For the record I WAS JOKING. And I don't appreciate Ben passing on my jokes like they're bowls of pasta that he's handing down a cafeteria line, because he really really doesn't want to eat them. Or else he likes my joke-pasta so much that he wants so share it with the world. OR. OR else he's concerned that my pasta will get a tattoo.

Well you can rest assured, James, that neither my pasta nor my ass-ta will be getting a tattoo any time soon.

One day, though, James, I'll make you do it. I'll be about twenty or twenty-five (OOOH HORRORS a.k.a. loads of fun...for me.) and I'll drag you to a tattoo parlor and we'll get matching Narnia tattoos. NARNIA. TATTOOS. JAMES. JUST LIKE THE LORD OF THE RINGS CAST DID. Except for one of them, i don't remember which one, he was being a spoilsport AND NOW HE DOESN'T HAVE THE TATTOO TO REMIND HIM OF NEW ZEALAND.

Well goddamnit james I will simply not allow you to be the spoilsport. Just like them, we will always have New Zealand. You and I are going to get the tattoos to prove that, mark my word.

Love, and solemn oaths! For Narnia!!
Georgie.

P.S. Tattoos haven't affected the Lord of the Rings actors' careers in the slightest. So there.

P.P.S. We still have Marmalade, yes. I had to take her off the keyboard to type this.

———

From: owlfacemattressnumberhead@yahoo.co.uk
To: discofaun06@gmail.com
Subject: No Subject
Date: 26 Jan 2011 | 1:20 AM

James

I saw the article online. i don't think you're old — no, i know you're not old. or if you are old, then so am i.
just let me be old with you and not a teenager for one day, okay. just let me.

Georgie



———


THE END.
FOR NOW. MUAHAHAHA.














ETA:
Oh, and I made this:



Good night.






Cross-posted to [livejournal.com profile] narnia_rpf.
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