fanfic: Lonely

[iamshunpike.livejournal.com]

I've become so used to posting frequently lately that not posting feels weird to me now. So here's something I wrote about a week ago.


Title: Lonely
Fandom: Narnia RPF
Characters/Pairings: Anna-centric with hints of Anna/Georgie. Ben, Will P. and Anna's brother Freddie are all included in this.
Rating: G, maybe PG for slight language.
Summary: Anna is having an off week. Or three weeks, to be precise. Everyone else gets the brunt of it.
A/N: This was going to be the beginning of a ridiculously-long multi-chaptered fic, but then I stopped and just didn't know what to write next. I read it over a few days later and decided that I like where it ends. So there you have it. :)
Also, this has a very specific timeline: it takes place from 5 March to 25 March 2013, making Anna twenty-four, Georgie eighteen, and so on....

ETA: AHAH I posted this when I was tired, I had to correct grammar today!






Anna'd fucked far too many girls that week. No one knew she was gay, and it stressed her out every time she thought someone might be guessing. The last one to leave panties in her flat made Anna want to murder her long after she'd gone: for of course a friend had found them. Stupid-sounding explanations had followed, and they'd been rainbow-patterned, for God's sake.



Will P. called on Friday at one in the afternoon.

"Hey, Anna, how're you doing?" he asked jovially.

Her voice scratched with malice. "Peachy, you giant fag."

"No need to be rude." A short breath followed.

"You'd be hanging up right now if you weren't so damn polite, wouldn't you?" she mockingly demanded.

The line went dead.

"Hello?" Anna was frantic. "Hello? Hello?"

Needless to say, the rest of that week sucked.



Somehow a green sock landed in her white wash that Sunday. Her clothes (bras and all) had turned an awful muted puce color that she just knew would turn grey sooner or later.

Sooner rather than later, probably, she thought.



"You're acting like a sulky teenager," Ben stated at the café the next Thursday.

"Oh, and you'd know all about being a teenager, Grandpa," Anna retorted, arms crossed below her breasts.

"How to Lose Friends and Alienate People." He stared her dead in the face. "Ever heard of it?"

"Movie trivia skills aren't the best way to show your insight." Her lip curled nastily.

He stood and left. And this time he didn't even offer her a ride home.



Boarding the bus on Saturday, Anna was blocked from ascending by a foot in her path. She looked up to see an annoyed-looking Asian man sitting in the front seat. He was in his late forties, she guessed.

"Are you looking forward to the Annual Needlework Society's Convention?" he asked doubtfully.

"No," she responded, sounding confused and, once again, angry.

"Then you don't belong on this bus."

She looked in at the other passengers. Everyone, even the driver, was wearing a shiny blue button with the club's ingisnia on it.

"Oh," Anna muttered dumbly.

She stepped out and watched as the bus quickly drove away, anxiously avoiding further unwanted passengers.

Did I just get snubbed by a busload of grannies? she thought.

...Well, fuck.

She took a compact out of her very small purse. Taped over the empty blusher palette was a photograph. Anna had put it in so that when she opened it up, she could see her face right next to Georgie's.

It was never enough, but at least it was something she could hold onto.



I am angry because I am lonely, she wrote in her diary Monday evening. It was a new diary, and these were the first words at the top of the first page.

I am lonely because I have forgotten how to be nice to people. Or at least, that's what my brother says. He's the reason why I even bought this. That's right, I'm taking life advice from a teenage boy. Freddie thinks it'll "help my state of mind" if I'm "able to write down your [my] feelings." So I'm taking a crack at it.

Anna paused, thought for a moment, and decided to date the entry.

25 March 2013, she wrote in capital letters at the head of the page. Then she continued.

I went for fish and chips with Lulu today. Then I got my car inspected. That was the highlight of my day.
Later I auditioned for a play at the local theatre, and they said they'd call me back for a second round.

Anna bit her lip.

I hate it when they do that. After all this Narnia, I'm so used to not having to audition, to being taken on the spot for the same character because I'm the only one who can play it.

Sometimes I wonder if I was really right for Susan. We're so unlike. I know, I know, that's the point of acting, but still. I dream so hard that I can get disappointed by reality at times. But Susan is very real. I can't imagine living like that, not imagining my way through life.

It might be nice.

She closed the book and went to bed.

———



Cross-posted to narnia_rpf.